Kotake and Koume's Kitchen of Wonders
by Ganondorfs-Sword-of-Power
Summary: Yes, after a TON of time I've posted chapter 2! It's a little crazier... ^_^; Okay; so there's a machete involved; but what can I say? Please read n' review!
1. Tektite Legs and Oktarock Sauce

Disclaimer!!!! ah!!!!!! Nada below tis mine, save for maybe the cooking show idear itself. Not characters or ingredients tho  
  
Potion a brewing Frog's eye a stewing Dead man a baking Dinner I'm a making  
  
Kotake and Koume's Kitchen of Wonders Show  
  
  
  
Announcer: Aaaaaaaaannnnndd here they are!  
  
Kotake and Koume: Hello! And Welcome!  
  
Kotake (Kot): Today we're making Tektite legs in Octarock sauce.  
  
Koume: Mmmmmmm. One of my favorites! Let's get started. First, you'll need one dozen Tektite legs and about a pint of Octarock jelly.  
  
Kotake: *throwing goo into a bowl* Then you pour your Octarock jelly into a bowl like so, and stir! You do this until it takes on a nice thick consistency.  
  
Koume: Right. Now I'll show you how to prepare your cauldron. You'll need something in the ballpark of a size two or three cauldron for this recipe, but it really depends on serving size.  
  
Kotake: Back to our mix, it's thickening nicely. So, I'm just going to start adding some ingredients. First, you'll want to add the essentials; all your Weed Spice, Ground Deku Nut and Spiced Moblin Ear for flavor. Just make sure all of that is in a fine powder form for no chunks. Stir.  
  
Koume: * throws HUGE handful of fire into pile of wood underneath a cauldron* You'll want to preheat your cauldron for about three minutes on high with Frog Eye juice or something similar; we don't want to use Octarock though; it would take away too much from the Tektite legs.  
  
Kotake: *walking over to cauldron with bowl* Now we'll just add our mix. Try to be careful not spill any and if your using a non-stick proof cauldron to use Lon Lon Butter for the best results.  
  
Koume: We'll just let this sit for about fifteen minutes before we add some more ingredients, but for now let's see our tip of the day!  
  
Kotake: *taking out a pile of Deku Flower leaves * Now I know we've all had Deku Salads, but how about a really colorful and tasty one?  
  
Koume: Try adding a dash of Poe Spirit Bits. They add so much flavor, it's amazing!  
  
Kotake: Now that we've got a few moments to wait for our goo to boil, we should get the other items ready. Your Spike Weed plants should be diced like so, ready to add, your carrots and any other vegetables or fruits you wish to add should be cut up by now as well. Koume: Okay, it seems that our goo is ready for those ingredients. Kotake, could you get those while I tend to the Tektite legs? Thanks. Now, we've had these boiling on medium for about five hours in a separate cauldron from the goo. They should be ready now, so take them on out. Keep them warm and set them on a plate like this nice Deku Wood one for good presentation.  
  
Kotake: *bringing cauldron over to table where Koume is * Our sauce is ready to add! Just ladle out a dollop or two onto each set of three Tektite legs; it makes a nice serving size. Now, just add some grass as a garnish and you're ready to dine!  
  
Kotake and Koume: Bye for now! Tune in next time for Moblin Bake and tips on how to keep your left overs fresh using a Chu Chu!  
  
PLEASE REVIEW 


	2. Moblin Bake!

Disclaimer: Now, if I owned Zelda, would I write this? No. Do I own Jell-O? Well, no. But if I did the oceans would all be a deliciously cheap snack you could walk on!  
  
^_^ This one's for all o' the kind peoples who review (ed) this! I dunno why; it just is.  
  
  
  
Potion a brewing Frog's eye a stewing Dead man a baking Dinner I'm a making  
  
~ Kotake and Koume's Kitchen of Wonders! ~  
  
Announcer: Back from their head-hunting vacation in Termina, heeeeeeeere's Kotake aaaaaannnnnddd Koume!!!!!!! Koume: Hello! *waves crazily* Kotake: Hi! *fingers skulls on new necklace* Koume: Today, as we mentioned last time, we're having a Moblin Bake.. Very tasty. Kotake: As you know, we start with a fresh Moblin carcass. Preferably boneless, if your local grocer offers it. Link! Bring it in! Link: Okay! *walks on stage, pulling a dead Moblin over his shoulder* Kotake: Thank you, you're free to go, Link. Link: *drops body and walks out* Koume: Ten fifty an hour and he's still useless! Well, anyway, you'll wan to have a Moblin ranging from about this sucker's size to the larger one's for the party-size servings. Kotake: While Koume tenderizes that by beating it with a large mallet, I'll start getting the other items ready! Koume: *pulls giant mallet out of the air and beats the deflated-looking Moblin body savagely* Ah ha ha ha ha!! Kotake: O_o . ANYWAY.. You'll need about a box of these Kokiri brand Thin Crackers, one bottle or so of Lon Lon Milk, and some vegetables of your choice for flavor. Take your crackers and rumble them like so, into a bowl about the size of two heads. Koume: I thought it was three! Kotake: No. Two! Koume: THREE! Kotake: TWO!!!! Koume: THREEEEEEEE!!!!! Kotake: TWOOOOOO!!!! Koume: *sticks tongue out* Kotake: Hag! It's two! You're memory's failing you. Koume: ~_~ *returns to beating Moblin* Kotake: As I was saying, before being RUDELY interrupted, you crumble you crackers in a TWO-head size bowl, add half of your bottle of milk. Stir. Koume: Once your Moblin nicely beaten, like this, *camera zooms in on Moblin's face, it's eyes looking in different directions* you need to cut off the parts you want, like the head and some of the other organs. Maybe even the spleen, if you're in the mood for something a little spicier. *takes out a machete and hacks off the head and a hunk of the stomach* Kotake: Add your vegetables and the rest of you milk to your mix after it starts to thicken up. Also, you might want to add a dash of Wallmaster to this, a little goes a long way! While Koume cleans off the parts she wants, I'll get the oven ready. We have a standard-size oven here, great for this kind of thing! Add wood and ignite or have your twin sister light it for you. KOUME!?!?! Koume: Eh? Oh. *throws several balls of fire at oven* While that cools down a bit get your Moblin parts, bits if you will, prepared. Personally, I fancy plenty of brains. To get these just scoooooooop em' right out. *shoves hand in Moblin head, bringing out a sloppy, green mass that slightly resembles a brain* Cut it and any other bits you want into two- inch slivers. Kotake: *assists in cutting the bits* add these into your cracker mix and stir well, adding a bit of flour to prevent the dense brain from sinking too much, like Koume's. Koume: *holds machete threateningly* Kotake: ^_^;;; Before being flayed and/or skewed, pour your tasty yet-to-be- baked-bake into a nine by five baking dish. Koume: Then place it, with care not to spill any, into your oven *pours and places* Kotake: You're probably wondering "W HY AREN'T THOSE (insert line of choice words) TELLING US WHAT TO USE CHU-CHU SKIN FOR?!?!?!" It's because we wanted to save this tip for after our bake is done and this commercial break has plagued your minds with what you MUST buy, or Koume will flay you and use your skin for a stylish polka hat of some kind. *scene fades out* *Curiosity Shop Guy runs into an armory full of not-so-well-cared-for weapons* Curiosity Shop Guy: Hey hey hey! Cuuuuuuuriosity Shop Guy here with a greeeeeeeeeat bargain for ya! *picks up rusted sword that has several dents in it* Just LOOK at this baby. Hand crafted, well broken-in and only 150 rupees!!! But wait- I'll throw in this too!! *holds up sheath with large gashes in it* Free of charge!!!! That's right! Only 150 rupees!! Audience: OOOOoooooooooo Ahhhhhhhh.. Curiosity Shop Guy: That's not all! *reaches under table to retrieve stained tunic* Now folks, this may appear to have jelly stains on it- but no! Those aren't jelly stains at all! They taste like it *licks tunic *, smells like it *sniffs it * and even feels like jelly! But no no no! it's actually blood of the rare and elusive Deadhand!!!! Random Audience Member: *cough cough* Curiosity Shop Guy: No- wait!! I have more this- *is cut off with a 'now back to our feature presentation'* Kotake: Welcome Back! Our Moblin Bake is done, so just take it out using your hotpads so you're not burnt as you take it out. *easily removes steaming dish containing something green-brown in color* Koume: MMMMMMmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmm!!!! *takes out spatula and uses combination of it and the machete to cut two servings on the plates Kotake just materialized* And Serve! Just add a nice little garnish, maybe a decoratively carved carrot, for looks. Kotake: Now for our tip of the day! We've all seen Chu-Chu's, right? We know they make great Jell-O, but what about their skins? We have the answer! Koume: After you've finished your meal, especially one like this, you'll have leftovers. Just leave 'em where they are! Take the Chu-Chu skin and cut a slit in the bottom. Place tightly over those leftovers for something that will last awhile after you have your Freezard frost it over for you! Kotake: Not only that, but if you leave the eyes on top like so, the kids will be scared to death and won't steal 'em! What a great tip! Bye everyone! Koume: *happily stuffs face* Kotake: ~_~; Next time, by request, we'll have Deep-fried Skullfish with Steamed Like-Like! Thanks Garo Master for the delicious request! We'll also have a special guest star for our tip! Buh-bye!  
  
So ends the longer second episode of Kotake and Koume's Kitchen of Wonders! Please review, send requests, questions, and other such items in at will! 


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